Wednesday, November 9, 2011

In Which I Pretend to be in Control

If we're being perfectly honest, we'd admit to ourselves that the majority of the time we only look like we know what we're doing. Maybe I'm generalizing too much. If I'm being perfectly honest, the majority of the time, I only look like I know what I'm doing. 

Case Study #1: Codename Blindie (yes, she gave me permission to make it her codename) was working at the school market, at which point she sustained second degree burns to her right hand due to prolonged exposure to boiling water. At first, I was thinking okay, I'll check it when I stop by between classes. Each text made the case sound more urgent, though. In about 3.6 minutes, I was at Blindie's side, fishing for gauze in my backpack and admiring the fleshy blisters. My train of thought was something like: okay, she ran it under cool water for about a minute...probably should do more, but whatever. She put burn gel on it...red flag. Wait, that's a red flag, right? Nothing on burns...I think. Crud, we don't cover burns until next week. Okay, think. Cool water, keep it dry. We need more gauze. I convinced Blindie to leave her register and help me find a decent first aid kit. We wandered upstairs, found the general manager, and followed him through the kitchen to the most beat-up, out-of-date kit I've ever seen in a professional establishment. The first thing he fishes out: burn cream. He tries to hand it to Blindie, and I emphatically shake my head. "No cream." GM does a double take. It should be understood that at the time, I was in full EMT uniform, pants, polo, scissors and all. "Oh, okay," he says, as if unsure of trusting me or not. I quickly scan the container. "No gauze rolls...so...lots of that gauze pad size, that tape, and that tape." Please sound confident. Make it sound like you know exactly what you need. Please let me be right! "I'll bring the leftovers back." Out Blindie and I go to the MC Commons, where I begin wrapping each finger with gauze squares and taping them as gently as possible. I gave Blindie strict orders to take it easy and hydrate. I stayed close to finish homework, since I was ditching class anyway, and then went to my EMT lab. After that, I immediately scoured my textbook for correct answers. To my elation, I did everything as I should have. 

Case Study #2: I developed an infection last week that required daily trips to Community Care for wound management. Every day I'd walk into that office, smile at the nurses, and wait to be taken back. They'd call me back to room 1, the room especially for body fluids and trauma. Here we go again. "Ready?" Yep. Nope. Holy goodness! Oh my goodness this hurts so bad. Oh my gosh I'm going to die. "Doing alright?" Yep. ARGH! Okay, I think they're done. *breathes* Oh crudmuffins nope they're not done. Finally, peace. "Alright, you're good to go until tomorrow. You alright?" Yep! Thank you so much! Just give me a sec, I'm not ready to move yet. I've realized that if I go in there every day and scream my head off for the entire thirty seconds they're causing me excruciating pain, they're going to hate seeing me, and nothing's going to make the doctor want to be nice. So I smile, pretend I don't want to smack the PA's hand away whenever he comes near, and try to make each visit as pleasant as I can. But KT, that's not your job. THEY should be making YOU comfortable. Well, yeah, but I've worked healthcare too. I love seeing happy patients. It makes the job suck so much less. Besides, every time I suffer through those thirty seconds, I wind up feeling so much better afterwards. It's brilliant. 

Case Study #3: "Hey KT!" Roommate/friend/family member exclaims, "so I went to the doctor/was scouring webmd today, and he/it said that I have [insert medical condition here]. What does that even mean?" -or- "Hey KT! So whenever I [insert action], my [body part] [does something it probably shouldn't]. What do I do?" Okay, think. That's a respiratory problem/sign of allergic reaction/muscular reaction. Step 1: Do I have any prior knowledge of the topic? If yes, share. Step 2: Has is been covered in class? If yes, scour brain for details, and share. Step 3: Is it something you learned to do in lab? If yes, proceed to practice skill on the sick/injured questioner. Step 4: Are you lost? Textbook. Still lost? Webmd. STILL lost? Consult roommates codenamed Devin (future RN) and Mamabear (future MA). Step 5: Totally out of your league? Send to Urgent Care/Call 911. So far, my system has not failed me. 

I realize that all three of my case studies were medical-y things, but to be perfectly honest, those are what filled my last week and a half. The same holds true in all aspects of my life, though, be it Capstone or Family Foundations classes, real life or labs. Fake it 'til you make it, a friend used to tell me. But what about being real? Well, are you capable of being real? Will anyone benefit from you being 100% honest right now? Or would it be better for you to be confident on the outside? Well, would you walk into a job interview and tell the interviewer that you were really worried about those pictures on facebook that you didn't want them to see? Or walk into a test and through your hands in the air after three questions because you don't think you know anything? No. You fake it. 

I'm certainly not encouraging anyone to go out and lie. Don't become conmen and hustlers, capable of getting anything out of everyone by sheer will of your charisma (no matter how fun it is). Just be confident. Be yourself. Be what is needed, when it is needed. The world might need my maternal instincts tomorrow, and my shoddy knowledge of Sign Language the day after, so that's what I'm going  to give. 

Wow, long post. Oops. 

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